BRAD GIBB | The DANGEROUS Truth About Mentors
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Welcome back to another episode of Millionaire Secrets!
Today I’ve been joined by Brad Gibb - Co-Founder of Cash Flow Tactics!
From Goldman Sachs, partner at an accounting firm, to investment millionaire, Brad has seen the financial system from a perspective many will never see.
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After absorbing dozens of these bad boys, this one was friggin awesome and super insightful. The way you guys discuss the difference between emulating a mentors formula as opposed to copying their results is spot on! Smashing convo 😂! #entrenation #questforexcellence
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You are awesome Jeff and I am glad I am with Entre.
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Wow! Brad Gibb Mic drop! Whew!!! This conversation was PACKED with VERY VALUABLE LESSONS AND INSIGHTS. I'm glad to be a new member of Entre and I'm Jeff Lerner's newest biggest fan. (-Steven Santoyo)
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View reply from Jeff Lerner
it is risky to just get one perspective. reminds me of an election and a president lol. i appreciate the reason you guys did this video!!!
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Listened carefully; understood. 75--zero family; zero debt(consumer and/or commercial). 10 years ? Might not be around in ten years. It would be a "last ditch" fight.
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BRAD GIBB
The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever Paperback – February 29, 2016
by Michael Bungay Stanier (Author)
4.6 out of 5 stars
In Michael Bungay Stanier's The Coaching Habit Coaching becomes a routine and informal part of your workday, so that management and teams perform less work and make greater impact.
Based on his the years of experience in teaching more than 10,000 busy executives across the world in everyday, practical coaching, Bungay Stanier reveals how to unleash your team's potential. He explains seven essential coaching questions and demonstrates how -- by speaking less and asking more, you can create coaching strategies that yield great outcomes.
Be direct and concise in any conversation by using the Kickstart question.
Keep track of your progress during any contact with The Awe Question.
Spend less time on yourself by using the lazy question and save the hours for others by using The Strategic Questions
Find the root of any internal or interpersonal problem through The Focus Questions as well as The Foundation Question.
Also, ensure that other people appreciate your coaching just as much as you did with Your Learning Question
A new and innovative approach to the classic how-to guide This book is a combination of details from insider sources with research on behavioural economics and neuroscience and interactive training tools to transform advice from the practical into habits that can be implemented. Informative and humorous, The Coaching Habit can transform your workplace from good to outstanding.
"Coaching is an art and it's far easier said than done. It takes courage to ask a question rather than offer up advice, provide and answer, or unleash a solution. giving another person the opportunity to find their own way, make their own mistakes, and create their own wisdom is both brave and vulnerable. In this practical and inspiring book, Michael shares seven transformative questions that can make a difference in how we lead and support. And he guides us through the tricky part - how to take this new information and turn it into habits and a daily practice." -- Brene Brown Author of Rising Strong and Daring Greatly
"Michael Bungay Stanier distills the essentials of coaching to seven core questions. And if you master his simple yet profound technique, you'll get a two-fer. You'll provide more effective support to your employeesand co-workers. And you may find that you become the ultimate coach for yourself."
-- Daniel H. Pink The author of To Sell Is Human and Drive
"What can you do to become a better leader? Michael asks and answers this question by offering aspiring leaders seven thoughtful questions that will change their leadership habits. This book is full of practical,useful and interesting questions, ideas and tools that will guide any leader trying to be better."
-- Dave Ulrich , co-author of The Why of Work and The Leadership Code
"Michael's intelligence, wit, articulateness and dedication to the craft of coaching shine forth in this brilliant how-to manual for anyone called to assist others. Even after four decades of my own experience in thisarena, The Coaching Habit has provided me with great takeaways."
-- David Allen Author of Getting Things Done
" The Coaching Habit It's funny, clever practical, memorable, and grounded in current behavioral science. I found it very useful to my own research and collaborations."
-- James Slezak , Executive Director of Strategy, New York Times
The Best Coaching Question in the World
Reviewed in the United States on February 27, 2016
Oh, my.
MEMO TO EVERY PERSON I’VE PRETENDED TO COACH OR MENTOR: I’m so, so sorry! Honest!
Here’s why. This month I was a learner in a seminar with CEOs and board chairs. The highly energetic, wise and witty facilitator was Michael Bungay Stanier, the author of the hot-off-the-press book, “The Coaching Habit.”
At a coffee break, halfway through the three-hour, how-to-coach practicum, I told Stanier that—already—the seminar was on my Top-10 list of best workshops ever attended (and I’ve attended my fair share). Here’s why I gave it a 10:
Three memorable points on coaching:
--BE LAZY: Stop working so hard.
--BE CURIOUS: Stop giving so much advice.
--BE OFTEN: Stop waiting to coach.
And how’s this for role reversal? I’m usually reading snippets from books to my wife. She picked this up first and is still reading—and reminding me—on what effective coaching looks like, especially the “stop giving so much advice” poke-in-the-ribs. Ouch.
Stanier notes that “Harland Howard said every great country song has three chords and the truth. This book gives you seven questions and the tools to make them an everyday way to work less hard and have more impact.” The seven essential questions:
--The Kickstart Question
--The AWE Question
--The Focus Question
--The Foundation Question
--The Lazy Question
--The Strategic Question
--The Learning Question
Stanier says the best coaching question in the world is the AWE question: “And What Else?”
In a four-minute drill with another board chair, I was instructed to ask four questions displayed on the seminar room screen. Stanier says “the first answer someone gives you is almost never the only answer, and it’s rarely the best answer,” so the AWE question is the perfect follow-up.
--Q1: What’s the real challenge here for you?
--Q2: And what else?
--Q3: And what else?
--Q4: So what’s the real challenge here for you?
In just four minutes—it was almost magical. I stuck to the bargain (whew—very hard) and just asked questions of my board chair partner. He responded to each question—and increasingly, in response to “And what else?” he dug deeper and deeper and—BINGO!—answered his own question and solved his own challenge.
Where was this book when I was pretending to coach team members, clients, my son, my grandkids, and many, many others? Yikes!
I’ve underlined gems on almost every page:
--Although coaching is listed as one of the six essential leadership styles in Daniel Goleman’s article, “Leadership That Gets Results” (a Harvard Business Review classic), “it was the least-used leadership style.”
--“You can build a coaching habit” and “You can coach someone in ten minutes or less. And in today’s busy world, you have to be able to coach in ten minutes or less.”
--“Coaching should be a daily, informal act, not an occasional, formal ‘It’s Coaching Time!’ event.”
Stanier’s humor sneaks up on you! As you embark on what he calls the “coaching habit,” he suggests you start somewhere easy:
“If you’re going to manage someone differently, pick someone who might be up for it and is willing to cut you some slack. Or pick someone with whom it’s all going so badly that you’ve got nothing left to lose.”
ANOTHER AHA! The author says there’s a huge difference between coaching for performance—and coaching for development. “Call them forward to learn, improve and grow, rather than to just get something sorted out.”
A gargantuan fan of questions—versus answers—he quotes Nancy Willard: “Answers are closed rooms; and questions are open doors that invite us in.”
“CUT THE INTRO AND ASK THE QUESTION” is another shot over the bow. He notes, “No James Bond movie starts off slowly. Pow! Within 10 seconds you’re into the action, the adrenaline has jacked and the heart is beating faster”—so “cut the preliminary flim-flam” in your coaching process. In 72-point font on page 52, Stanier shouts: “If you know what question to ask,
get to the point and ask it.”
TAME THE ADVICE MONSTER! “We’ve all got a deeply ingrained habit of slipping into the advice-giver/expert/answer-it/solve-it/fix-it mode.” (One study revealed that doctors interrupt patients with advice within 18 seconds. Ditto, perhaps, the rest of us.)
Slow down and take a breath, says Stanier. “Even though we don’t really know what the issue is, we’re quite sure we’ve got the answer they need.”
VP OF BOTTLENECKING. If your employee name badge should read “VP of Bottlenecking,” you must read this book. These seven essential coaching questions will help you coach others, and as Stanier perceptively writes, “Focus on the real problem, not the first problem.”
There are dozens and dozens of more gems in this fresh, easy-to-read format (plus almost 50 full-page quotations—all PowerPoint-worthy). I just ordered eight books for colleagues who are coaching boards and CEOs this year.
752 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on February 22, 2018
I am a board certified executive coach in the healthcare industry. For some time now I have been searching for a way to provide my doctors with coaching skills they can use within their clinical practices. Creating coaching cultures within organizations is currently a very hot topic in the coaching world, so when I became aware of Michael Stanier's book I immediately downloaded it to my kindle. I found his book to be remarkable because of its simplicity and powerful message. After struggling trying to decide how to impart all of a coaches knowledge and skill to my clients, Michael's book provided the realization that most clients do not need to be full fledged coaches to transform their existing practice culture to a coaching culture. Michael's book provides basic, yet simple, techniques that anyone can use to begin coaching their people.
The most powerful message found in this book is that we must move away from being "problem solvers", and concentrate our efforts on
becoming "people developers". By doing so we challenge our people to become the best they can be, and in the process we become much better leaders.
75 people found this helpful
especially the ones that like to give advice because it's easier
Reviewed in the United States on August 14, 2017
I train coaches, especially the ones that like to give advice because it's easier. For a lot of reasons. As a result, I got a kick out of the haiku on page 59
"Talk less and ask more
Your advice is not as good
As you think it is"
This really takes what, for many is a complex and intimidating process and simplifies it. I got the book on Saturday, and had it read before I went to bed. It's not short...it's just that good.
Too many managers have been "trained" by imitating what their manager did and they replicate behaviors that really do not improve the development of their teams. But it gives them the sense of being in charge or control. Or the example I like to use is, "do you want to be a firefighter or a rainmaker?" Would you prefer to employ fire prevention, or always be putting out the fires after they have started?
I'd recommend this to managers and to leaders looking for ideas on how to explain this coaching thing.
49 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on July 8, 2016
I read a lot, like 5 books a week, and I can't say enough about this book.
First off when you pick up this book, it just feels light and beautiful.
The way it's presented is just plain amazing and simple. The words and writing isn't clutter or "filled" up. You get actionable steps to put into practice for yourself and clients. Not many coaching books or books in general really get to the point. He doesn't talk about meaningless things that bore you.
Michael knows exactly what he's talking about and demonstrates it beautifully with the way he describes the process of the coaching questions to use. Whether you're new or a vet to coaching, hell even if you don't coach, this book is more than just a book.
Imagine a $3,000 3 day workshop packed into a home course that you can take anywhere. This is it!
60 people found this helpful
Exceptional Resource - A 'Must Read' for Any Leader
Reviewed in the United States on August 20, 2019
I originally ordered/received this book in January 2019. Despite best intentions, it landed on a shelf amidst other management style self-help type books (so many out there)….many purchased with those same best intentions only to languish on that shelf. But ‘finding the time’ to actually read them(???), ever the challenge.
That time recently manifested while between professional opportunities after deciding to walk away from a new but unfortunate, short-lived endeavor out of a 30-year career in leadership. In my effort to stay relevant, bolster skills and continue growing, I turned attention to those well intended books, consuming one or more daily. Besides, there are only so many cabinets, drawers and closets that I could reorganize in my house…it was time for some dedicated professional reading unlike rushed or half-hearted past efforts.
Apart from a great opportunity in self-development and reminder to do a better job ‘making’ versus ‘finding’ time going forward, The Coaching Habit was a true delight and page turner. He basically had me at ‘stop working so hard’. I finished it in a few hours.
It read easily with simple, straight-forward concepts and language. And, the content is well-organized into a logical flow of material and those chapters in delivering the information. I was encouraged and remained engaged in that the concepts were (1) not overly basic or elementary, (2) not unrealistic or off point, (3) not cliché, too cutesy, ‘hokey’ or preachy, and (4) not lost or overburdened amidst repetition, storytelling or humor. All while packaged in a clean, simple format, which flowed easily and was attractive aesthetically, free of overfilled, text laden pages or in smaller font (important for some of us).
Michael Bungay Stanier seamlessly correlates familiar workplace challenges and offers those in absorbable, useful bite-sized chunks with practical, specific approaches to counter or corral those and bring success. His delivery is very ‘real’, pragmatic and resourceful. It was especially insightful to distinguish between coaching for performance versus coaching for development. His recognition of best intentions from The Advice Monster and roles within the Drama Triangle offered keen insights and perspective, including how these trip us up in our professional (or personal) relationships – most importantly how to increase self-awareness and better self-manage those.
The Coaching Habit references multiple other helpful resources, including credible recommendations for related literature or publications (appreciating the author’s including those, making them pertinent, sharing his observations and/or quoting specific items). I’ve ordered a few of those, which will not land on my shelf this time. The author is exceptionally well read in the genre, indicating he reads an estimated 100 business books a year. I’ve joined his LinkedIn group and downloaded a couple of goodies (via link) included among the book as well. I highly recommend The Coaching Habit.
One person found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on June 19, 2019
This book encourages us to replace a telling leadership style with a coaching one—and making it a habit. Nearly 45% of our actions are habitual; so, making coaching a new habit requires knowledge and practice. The author offers what he calls The 7 Essential Questions. #1. The Kickstart Question: What’s on your mind? #2. The A.W.E. Question: And, what else? #3. The Focus Question: What’s the real challenge here for you? #4. The Foundation Question: What do you want? #5. The Lazy Question: How can I help? #6. The Strategic Question: If you’re saying yes to this, what are you saying no to? #7. The Learning Question: What was most useful to you? Creating questions slows people down by making them reflect, and that reflection leads to better decisions and learning.
4 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on August 11, 2017
A very good book for me. Friendly, fun to read, several times AHA moments.
structured way of presenting ideas, reasonable repetitions, briefings at chapter ends.
A very good website accompanying the book, referenced videos by pages, worksheets, additional small ebook formatted reports, all FREE!
I had a basic certification by ICF for coaching, I had completed 60 hours of classroom training and an audio coaching session as a test.
Now I feel that training could have been more direct and time could have been devoted to more practice..
I keep repeating 7 questions by myself and restless to practice within my family first :)
Great book, must read.
For coaches, students, employees, managers, leaders, fathers, mothers,.... I love it!
3 people found this helpful
A must read for all managers and teachers.
Reviewed in the United States on August 21, 2016
One of the best books I have ever read--The author provides a nice and simple guide so that we can become better managers for those of us working through other people. I can definitively see myself in many of the examples about the things we do and don't do--I love the seven questions and his way about explaining each of them...as well as the ability to make our own notes.
I sure have many habits I need to replace, with better ones.
Strongly recommend it to anyone trying to become a better manager, a better teacher--or a better person.
18 people found this helpful
This Book Could Easily Be Called The "Life Habit"
Reviewed in the United States on March 5, 2020
Michael Bungay Stainer's book "The Coaching Habit" could just as easily be called the "life habit," because much of what he discusses isn't just about coaching, but rather about being a good listener. Far too many people have a preoccupation with dispensing advice on anyone that will listen (and anyone that doesn't want to listen, but finds themselves listening out of politeness), and this book is a wonderful antidote to that tendency. The clear and concise points that he makes in this book can be implemented immediately, and the results are similarly instantaneous: in my own interactions, I've found that people have opened up to me more, that my communications with them are more meaningful, and that people now seem to be seeking out my advice more (which was something I was completely unprepared for). A quick and excellent read, and one that I think can benefit anyone with an open mind and a desire to form more meaningful connections with others.
Reviewed in the United States on May 11, 2021
To those reviewers who absolutely have the right to their opinion on this particular work, I would challenge their viewpoint. If you are a licensed coach fully trained and out there coaching others--this is not the book for you.
There are those of us who don't know a lot about use of coaching style in management positions, and this was a very helpful, practical start. It gave a little bit of a lot that I could use right away. It made me want to reach out for deeper and more learning to move forward. I'd call that a success.
2 people found this helpful
This is a great book that I could not put down!!!
Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2017
To hammer this point home I'll tell you a brief background of my reading history, which is easy, because it was none. I didn't read my first book until college (fiction or non-fiction) and yes I failed a lot of English classes in Highschool. I would be perplexed every time someone spoke of a book "they just couldn't put down", they all seemed to heavy for me to even pick up. Once I started my professional career I started reading more and more non-fiction books, starting with Crucial Confrontations. I have to admit I finish very few. The Coaching Habit, I COULD NOT PUT DOWN. the writing style that was a combination of putting things in small, understandable chunks and just the right sarcastic humor worked wonders for me. Most importantly, I immediately put the AWE question and the Focus question into place at work. As the book described, the effects were immediately felt! I could see people light up when I asked.
I bought the paperback, I am going to buy the audio book for my 2.5 hour commute I have going over the next couple of months, just to really ingrain the information in my head.
4 people found this helpful
A must-read practical guide for managers and leaders
Reviewed in the United States on October 12, 2019
I was looking for the best possible book on coaching / mentoring as it has been some time since I last read up on the subject. In searching the internet, this book seemed to come out on top, so I decided to purchase it.
I found the audio version particularly helpful - it was very clear and easy to follow.
In fact, I would heartily recommend the book to anyone who is charged with managing one or more people. The very practical tips (with practice of course) are easy to understand and make total sense. In essence, the book teaches you to ask questions rather than jump in with advice or solutions (the trap that most of us fall into). This is the only way we will be able to develop the colleagues reporting to us.
I am really pleased that I purchased this book!
One person found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on January 20, 2017
I've had the audiobook version on repeat. The number one lesson I've learned--coaching isn't just a job I do, but it's a leadership approach integrated into my lifestyle. I'm an active duty, military officer--who's also started a part-time coaching practice on the side. It's been hard for me to keep the two leadership perspectives separate--I hadn't been using my coaching approach or skillset in the military, but it's all I use when I coach & consult others.
What I learned from this book--coaching is reduced down to a simple set of tools. What's hard? Coaching is a lifestyle change--simple doesn't mean it's easy to apply. And as I take 2017 to reorient my leadership approach to be 100% coaching based--this book has been a perfect alignment tool to help me reinforce my practice.
One person found this helpful
So Helpful and Well Laid Out for Implementation!
Reviewed in the United States on September 28, 2018
I gained a lot of insight from this book. As someone who grew up with a helper for a mom, I think I probably took on that role myself and find myself giving a lot of advice and feeling like I know the answers to help people. This book helps me practice a hard stop to start helping people realize they have the answers to their challenges within themselves and helping them learn how to get there. It is a simple book, not very long, and attractively laid out with some large and bold quotes, exercises where you fill in the blanks for yourself, and short chapters. The videos at their website and the other listening things they reference you two are also helpful if you want more information. Definitely a great book I am glad I read.
One person found this helpful
A coaching book for the reality of today
Reviewed in the United States on September 9, 2016
This is an outstanding book for not only supervisors, but also for anyone who wants to improve their conversations with those around them (co-workers, family and friends). As a director of learning and development, I spend part of my time coaching people and also facilitating workshops on improving conversations.
This book is DEFINITELY for the current times where supervisors struggle to find the time for formal one-on-one conversations. Using the guidance in this book, you can throw away these formal meetings and integrate coaching throughout your entire day. How liberating is that?
While this book won't replace an intensive year-long coaching certification, it will rapidly get you 80% of the way there with a bit of practice - and wow you with how much easier it is for you to have meaningful and satisfying conversations that encourage buy-in and ownership with those around you.
18 people found this helpful
Dungay is practical and practical so practical
Reviewed in the United States on September 1, 2021
A must have guide for coaches, managers and leaders at any level, in his very entertaining and engaging style, Dungay goes all the way teaching his easy to implement and easy to stick information with no psychobabble, no nonsense everything is usable, field proof, and you'll enjoy every minute of this book, yes really! so much that when you finish it, youll wonder "that was a lot of fun"! ....But wait I've learned a lot, mmm lets see, I will go back to the lazy question chapter.... and there you know it, Dungay got under your skin, and you have are now into the language and behaviors, so now build your habits and make others be great under your tutelage!!! I cant wait to see what he is bringing us next!!!
Quick Read - Great Info - Worth the Time
Reviewed in the United States on January 6, 2022
I really enjoyed this book. It's clear and concise. There are seven questions in order to help with your coaching, and each is explained in a fun, smart way. The author is funny and has a good style to get the point across. I have already started using a couple of the questions - #2 and #7. (You'll have to read the book to know what I'm talking about.) I already knew about Question #2 and just needed a reminder. The last question was an "ah-ha" for me and it seems to be well embraced for my team so far. This one is helpful. Get it, read it, use it.
Excellent, fun to read and very useful
Reviewed in the United States on November 14, 2018
This book is a little bit confusing at the beginning because of the way each chapter ir organized, you don’t really know if you are in the first the second or the third question. Once you are through with that it’s because that really doesn’t matter that much and you just want to keeping reading and learning. The trigger/old habit/new habit dynamics are the best, they really force you to assess yourself and make those old habits disappear. The webinars are fun to watch. I recommend to take notes both on the trigger/old habit/new habit dynamics and the webinars. I explained each of the essential questions to my wife and then practiced with her, that may help you, too. I wish I had read this book 1 year ago, not only did I lost a lot of time ‘giving advice‘, but I also made other people lose their time with my ‘advice’. Hopefully this is my last advice: read this book!
What If We Developed Better Leaders by Asking Great Questions?
Reviewed in the United States on February 9, 2017
There is a clear propensity in today's fast paced business cultures to simply pass out answers so we can quickly move onto the next fire fight. The question becomes, "how many casualties are we losing along the path?" If we grow our people then we'll grow our business and are we really pulling them forward towards their potential by being the answer guy. "The Coaching Habit" helps break us out of that mentality by simplifying an approach of asking key questions that fosters a higher level of engagement with team members, while growing their problem solving awareness to a new level. My mentor John Maxwell wrote a book about leaders asking great questions. Michael has now provided a text for what those questions should look like. We're currently using this great resource as a Mastermind/Book study with 35 Lean Champions to develop better coaches, who in turn strengthen their teams. I also like the difference in formatting of the chapters, which contributes to us moving out of the norm. In a world where we need to simplify, while adding value to others, "The Coaching Habit," will be an excellent tool in helping fuel change.
One person found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on May 30, 2016
Really great book with thoughtful and simplistic ways to enhance your coaching style (habits). I am going to try and start these and see how comfortable I am with them. I think trying to stop "giving answers" straight away will be the biggest hurdle, but the strategic questions provide a way to work thru that impulse. If you manage people I recommend this books, it really does provide a different and straight forward way of thinking.
3 people found this helpful
A GREAT book destined to be a classic!
Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2017
I am genuinely impressed with how simple and effective this book is. I'm a life and business coach, and podcast host, so I'm always looking for ways to take my curiosity and question crafting to the next level. This book did all that and more.
Here is just a few things I loved about it...
If you've ever tried to create a new habit, you know there is an art to it. Right in the beginning, Michael addresses this in a very simple 3 frame formula to understand how to successfully integrate each question as a habit. Then at the end of each chapter he gives example of how to do this making it crystal clear.
Each of the 7 questions really help to create an open platform of communication and helps the asker/manager/parent/coach direct the person being asked into their own experience and begin to find the solution for themselves. This is super empowering for the individual and a huge relief for the asker.
This is NOT just for business, the tools this book have helped me as a parent, a husband, and a friend. It's amazing what can happen when we stop trying to be the wellspring of knowledge with all the answers and shift into truly caring about helping someone arrive at their own conclusions. Yes, advice has it's place, BUT as the saying goes... You have two ears and one mouth, use them proportionately :)
Thank you Michael for such a great book that is sure to be a classic!
Jeff
3 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on November 28, 2021
I am a master teacher and my principal recommended this book as I was prepping to take a coaching job. There’s coaching to improve the human capital of others and there’s making those you Coach feel like crap. This books gives you the strategies and talking points to elicit thoughts and reflections of the staff without constantly dumping your advice on them. Allow them the space to reflect and see where they can improve while you work collaboratively with them to build on that. I’m not saying it’s easy; I’m saying this makes it a bit more feasible.
Best book on developing associates you lead!
Reviewed in the United States on April 6, 2020
The most accurate management book in my library. Some critics say it's too short, some say it's too superficial. The reality is this book is a broad, easy to read, well rounded system for leading. It's a communication system and one worth memorizing.
On another note, the recommended books on his website are very good. My only disagreement is that 'Atomic Habits' is a better book than both of his books on building habits.
Coaching as an habit, by improving your listening skills
Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2017
I loved the clear format, the simplicity and the wittiness of the language, and most of the power of Bungary Stanier's message.
Coaching as an habit, as something that you can possibly do in 15 minutes and where you as a coach/manager don't rush into the "rescuer/fixer" role but rather actively and curiously listen to the person you are coaching and ask 7 powerful questions. The way these questions are posed compel the person seeking coaching to get down to the real problem and find out his/her own path to solve it. And, in agreement with Bungary Stanier, I believe this is the ultimate way to help this person develop and grow within an organization.
One person found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on September 10, 2017
I don't believe anyone is a "born" manager. It's a skill that's cultivated over time. Unfortunately, most of us learn from less-than-stellar managers. Michael's book solved so many profound challenges I've had as a manager and coach. The 7 questions he lays out serve as a beautiful platform to help team members authentically, in an empowering, humane way. I especially appreciated his insights on the types of thoughts managers often have in the moment of coaching, and his advice on how to not give in to the old habits that sabotaged many well-meaning coaches and managers. Written in a witty, breezy, conversational style, you'll laugh while learning. Please. For the sake of the crappy work cultures out there. And for your own sake of avoiding another miserable coaching session: BUY THIS BOOK.
One person found this helpful
I’m going to call you the question master
Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2018
I bought 3 copies - 1 for my home - 1 for work - and 1 I gifted to a coworker after reading it. I finished this book within 3 days and immediately started using the 7 questions. Below is a text message I received from one of my employees who observed me using the questioning techniques (she didn't know about the book at the time)
"Cendie, I wanted to tell you that I’ve noticed and want to emulate how you ask question in a way that really requires reflective thinking. I noticed when you did that with me during our rubric convo and I saw it again with our "student" today. I’m going to call you the question master lol"
Michael's approach in this book is sticky, humorous, and applicable. I feel like my brain has so much more "oxygen" now that I use these simple questions to help my employees solve their own challenges.
3 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on August 6, 2021
The framework of questions is easy to understand and a great job of laying out WHY they fall into a particular order.
Clearly spells out why my teenager is mad that I'm giving them advice when I am just asking questions. I'm not asking questions - I'm giving advice in the form of a question and now I can frame that discussion differently. Recommend for leaders, parents, or anyone that has to interact with other humans that they need to collaborate with for results.
Reviewed in the United States on October 20, 2017
The Coaching Habit fundamentally changed the way I connect with my clients. I used to come into meetings with a ton of ideas I thought they should implement. I spent most of the time talking at my clients and failing to listen to their problems. Not a good strategy if you want to get to the heart of the issue quickly.
Now I use Michael Bungay's 7 questions to let my clients do most of the talking and thinking. As a result, I get more context to their problems and can be much more specific with the solutions I offer.
One person found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on April 13, 2020
This book is one of my go-to recommendations when people I encounter need to become better coaches. I like the concepts in this book because they are simple and few in number. There are only seven questions you need to ask and TONS of research backing those questions up. Additionally, the questions, when used as recommended, are quite effective. They encourage people to think for themselves while allowing you to create that space for them. Finally, this book is necessary if you coach others, if you help people become better coaches, or if you just want to be a better human being. It's thoughtfully written, funny, and intriguing. What else do you need in life?
Lead with "what" instead of "why"
Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2017
This is one of the most important business books I've read in a very long while - and - will likely be one of the most important ones you'll read during your career. I only wish that I had stumbled onto this book earlier - what a difference it would have made for the people I've manage on the teams I've run. The good news is after reading this book, I am now better equipped to lead my current and future teams. I will now be able to re-frame my coaching using the seven questions to better team results.
A book for anyone that works with people
Reviewed in the United States on October 5, 2016
If you manage people...parent kids...or you're a professional coach, this book is for you. For the novice, it teaches you how and why the art of questioning is a powerful in helping and leading others. If you are a coach, The Coaching Habit will re-direct your skills back to the foundation of what makes a coach great. I highly recommend this book.
6 people found this helpful
The Coaching Habit – Habit Forming
Reviewed in the United States on May 4, 2017
The Coaching Habit – Habit Forming
What I love about this book, I purchased as audio book first, and I have listened to it over and over again. I am not done listening, as I continually hear more each time. I love the simplicity of the 7-questions and the acronyms as they help me remember so I can put the coaching habit into my own practice of self-improvement. I love all the additional support items, your treasure trove to keep me engaged in your practice. I bought the physical book to be on my top shelf! Thank you for sharing!
The Coaching Habit: Say Less, Ask More & Change the Way You Lead Forever
2 people found this helpful
Really great advice for School Admin
Reviewed in the United States on August 25, 2021
I was looking for a short read that would give me practical advice to use as an Assistant Principal, and this book was exactly what I needed. I now have the seven questions taped to my desk and whenever someone comes in with a complaint or problem, I use those questions to guide me. Excellent read—finished in a few hours and will use the advice for years to come.
read it right away and thought it was good. Then I got access to the videos from ...
Reviewed in the United States on March 5, 2018
I pre-ordered this book, read it right away and thought it was good. Then I got access to the videos from BOC that went along and explained and put a greater emphasis on "habits" then I re-read the book, wow, that is when it all came together. I had read most of the books Michael referenced but he is exceptional at recognizing and combining materials in a coherent and useful way. This is one of my top ten most favorite books still. I am striving everyday to make my coaching skills a habit, using great questions, being lazy, curious, and often!!
Immediate impact on your leadership and business: the content is superb and the writing even better.
Reviewed in the United States on June 25, 2017
I don't write a lot of reviews. I'm busy and am growing a business. So every once in awhile a business book will come around that is a game changer, and when it does I take the time to write a review. This is one of them. Not only is the content superb (and immediately implementable--like you can implement while reading the book), the writing and humor is excellent. I'm a big fan and have pages of notes. This book won't be dusty on my bookshelf.
One person found this helpful
One of the best coaching books!
Reviewed in the United States on July 12, 2019
wonderful book! - very well written and thought out - I use his basic questions in my coaching practice - his chapter on the key issues facing business owners - overwhelm, disconnect and over dependence - is so true in my experience - I would recommend anyone read this book who is interested in coaching in the work place and and personal coaching!
His heart is really in the work that he does and it shows - a good example of why coaching is so needed in these times!
Study and practice it- or don't bother at all.
Reviewed in the United States on January 11, 2020
Excellent study, phenomenal when practiced...
My first read was as a new manager and it was part of my bosses "bookclub". I read the book the same way I was managing- fast, get through it and move on. Two years later, I found myself promoted! I was now the VP of Bottlenecking.
I picked it back up, read it with my highlighters in hand, took notes, and studied it to learn it. I also started practicing it.
WOW! Within a month, I was able to demote myself out of that VP role and start actually being effective.
I have since moved on from that role, taking on bigger challenges... I stay grounded revisiting Michael's book every couple months. My teams are better for it- more engaged, happier and stronger.
My note card with the 7 questions hangs on my monitor on a neon yellow 3 x 5 card.
Thank you Michael!
2 people found this helpful
This book is an easy read, and you will want to read it more than one time
Reviewed in the United States on April 23, 2020
I like that it was detailed simplistically, and it held my attention to read and learn further. I believe it has been a help to me in being a better listener. I have learned to ask better questions, and when needed give better answers. To be more patient when and ask one question at a time and wait on the answer. It has given me insight to helping people more instead of hindering them. I know I have a tendency to do for someone instead of giving direction and allowing them to find the answers. I have learned and experienced the power of being quiet, then quiet a little longer, then longer, instead of blurting out the answers to questions because someone didn't answer fast enough.
If your looking for a great little book that packs a big punch for becoming a leader or coach or Mentor, this is a great one to start with.
Used as basis for coaching workshop
Reviewed in the United States on September 24, 2016
I just conducted a coaching workshop in my leadership team with this book as a basis.
The easy comprehendable message made the discussion extremely focused and interesting.
Everyone agreed that connecting the science of developing a new habit with coaching is a stroke of genius - a missing piece for seasoned leaders who have failed so many times in implementing the coaching courses they have taken before. The 7 questions works as a solid basis but can be tweaked to your own preferences. Great book and great learnings!
3 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on June 18, 2018
This is the first coaching book I have read. I firmly know I do not need to read another one. Coaching Habit is genius, fun, and easy to read. I have used the star question: "What's on your mind?" And the second one, "and what else?" Many many times. I have used them in social situations, and I learned more than I could have imagined. Furthermore, the person who answered discovered new insights and questions to answer. The other questions blast the rocket off the launch pad, promise.
I believe this is the next “Think and Grow Rich” for the emotionally intelligent! Simple
Reviewed in the United States on February 21, 2018
*Absolutely A Must read Book for business and life!!! I believe this is the next “Think and Grow Rich” for the emotionally intelligent! Simple, concise, and highly engaging. Not only does Michael distill the complexities of coaching into easy step-by-step actions, he also Provides fun and engaging resources to reinforce his principles. Finally, one key tool Michael gives you is how to change your old habits into new habits. Very very powerful how he does it! Definitely a life-changing book!!
One person found this helpful
This was exactly the kind of non-fiction book I like: short and to the point
Reviewed in the United States on July 5, 2016
This was exactly the kind of non-fiction book I like: short and to the point. The author succinctly hones the coaching conversation down to a simple series of key questions with clear and logical reasoning for each. The coaching world is fraught with acronyms and mnemonics but this book cuts through it all. He also makes the work of coaching manageable and focussed rather than overwhelming. Highly recommended.
3 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on May 14, 2016
This was an excellent read. In fact, it is one of those books I am certain I will loop back round to reread several times. Easy to read and to the point, with practical application at the end of each chapter.
The author also gives his a great reference list for books worth reading by specific theme.
While the book is intended for business, and I read it from that perspective, I think it is also a great framework for personal and family life. We're so quick to let the 'Answer Monster' run wild, but as the author implores us throughout the book, to get the better results, question more, and create answers for others less. The power really is in the right questions. The Coaching Habit goes through the seven top questions to ask and why. I am sure reading this book will influence my own coaching habits in business as well as at home.
Fantastic read. Well worth reading twice.
One person found this helpful
Essential reading for leaders, managers and coaches
Reviewed in the United States on October 4, 2016
In working with people learning who are learning to become coaches many express feeling some anxiety at having to come up with "just the right question" to help somebody to move forward. The same applies, perhaps more so, for leaders and managers who are embracing coaching as an effective technique to unlock there staff's potential and empower a more engaged work force. Michael's book provides a most practical appraoch to applying coaching for both those leaders and coaches in general. The Seven Questions are elegant in their simplicity, yet incredibly powerful; the sign of true mastery. I strongly recommend this book to all aspiring coaches.
Thank you, Michael.
2 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on January 23, 2021
Michael Bungay Stanier has the hability to distill to the most important things to focus on in coaching, make things complex easy, and brings a conversational, humorous tone to his writing. The book is easy to read, gets to the point without a lot of fluff that most books have, and most important is impactful.
Reviewed in the United States on October 16, 2017
Intuitive, easy read. With that said, it puts the work back on the reader..not just another book full of quips and one-liners, but full of strategy in how to think and act on coaching and building habits...I absolutely love the way Michael ties together habit building and coaching. On top of that, the style of coaching is simple and easy to adopt...the main principle is ask more questions. Thank you for writing and creating an affordable coaching book.
One person found this helpful
Simple book, direct to the point
Reviewed in the United States on January 26, 2020
When I purchased this book, I wanted to get acquainted on the art of asking questions. This book fulfilled my initial desire, and is full of examples, and exercises. I've enjoyed it very much. Light reading, but very useful. Recommed to enyone who wants to ask better questions when dealing with people.
Reviewed in the United States on July 4, 2020
t first, I didn’t care for his book. It seemed too basic. But, as I continued, it made a lot of sense and I really enjoyed it once I was able to see how all of the questions worked together. I read this with a book club and I think that helped me talk through the concepts. I would recommend this book to other teachers and business people.
Becoming a better coach doesn’t have to be difficult
Reviewed in the United States on July 29, 2021
Gosh, why wouldn’t you want to purchase a book that’s fun and helpful, and easy to understand. You’ll find The Coaching Habit is a breeze to read, and the free videos you can watch at TheCoachingHabit.com are terrific.
One person found this helpful
Every page was a genuine Eureka! moment.
Reviewed in the United States on October 15, 2017
A co-worker put me on to this book the other day. Went home, downloaded it. Next day was my day off, so I read the whole thing.
Absolutely amazing communication principles and advice.
Reviewed in the United States on February 29, 2020
Being in a position of influence, I needed to learn how to have others accept change and learn a new way of doing things. I needed to shift from telling to coaching, and to let others come up with their own solutions. This book arrived just when I needed it.
Brilliantly presented as an easy read to grasp aspects that if practiced and internalized will surely lead me to be a terrific influencer and change agent.
I have bought the next book, “The Advise Trap”.
I had been looking for this book for quite a while
Reviewed in the United States on February 2, 2017
As part of a program I developed for fast growing mid-stage startups we teach a workshop for managers on Coaching for Growth. I had been looking for a book for the managers that we teach to support our work. I found it in this book, The Coaching Habit. This book is concise and actionable. If you are a manager I highly recommend it; I believe it will change the way you interact with your employees leading to more engaged staff and ultimately better results.
2 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on January 6, 2021
Just finished within 24 hours! The book was easy to read, super practical, immediately useful. As a default, I love to give advice, so this gave me a framework for coaching conversations, classroom discussions, and every day interactions that will help me ask better questions. What I appreciated is that this book is one giant tool to use; rather than just a bunch of information. Recommended!
One person found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on June 2, 2017
I'm so entrenched in the pit of telling people rather than asking questions. I look forward to creating new habits by applying the use of these questions. This will be useful at work and at home. This book is good for anyone who is around people. It would be cool if there were a summary list of the questions somewhere.
2 people found this helpful
Best management book I've read in 28 years!
Reviewed in the United States on May 3, 2016
This is the best management book and tool I've read in my 28 years as a manager of people--I only wish I had it long ago. I've bought multiple copies as required reading for my team and have recommended it and the author's website, boxofcrayons.biz, and his podcasts and extremely helpful and simple to use tools to my peers who run companies and associations. Really, it applies to life in general. So here I am telling and not asking (you'll understand this reference if you buy the book, and you must) but I am still working on that...this is one for the re-reading bookshelf and kindle. I have it both ways.
12 people found this helpful
Good book. There is so much literature out there ...
Reviewed in the United States on December 2, 2018
Good book. There is so much literature out there for a Real Estate Coach/Trainer to stay up with. This had some good ideas I had not read before and I have incorporated a few of them into my training. Defionitely worth a read. There are very few "Change your life" books, but this is a good solid read with enough meat in it to make it worth the purchase.
Reviewed in the United States on March 16, 2016
This book is like when you purchase a new car and think that you are only one that owns one. After you start driving it around, you start seeing ones just like it everywhere. Once you read this book, everything, including all your bad habits, become blaringly obvious. I find that I am extremely "generous" with advice, need to become an active listener, etc., etc., etc. Any book that has such an impact and makes a difference so quickly has to be a five-star. Be sure to visit Box of Crayons and sign up for their free daily email blasts -- they are a great way to get your day started. If you liked this book, you might want to read another new book that just came out called The Productivity Project by Chris Bailey.
2 people found this helpful
Highly valuable, practical content -- destined to become a management classic
Reviewed in the United States on July 29, 2018
I like the simplicity and the practicality of the lessons in the book. My favorite parts were about taming the "Advice Monster" -- I've fallen into this trap before and the results were never what I was hoping for. This book has lots of content and very little fluff. The supporting videos (links) are also very good. I'm using the questions already at work and in my personal life. I highly recommend it for anyone who wants to get better at helping others to grow and to learn to find answers for themselves.
Reviewed in the United States on January 1, 2018
This book is an easy read with a high ROI. Within the first few chapters I was already taking away useful advice that I could put into practice immediately. Some of it was reminders of things I know but fail to do, and some of it was legitimately new information, including references to neuroscience and the "why" behind the recommendations. The author's writing style makes for quick and enjoyable chapters, and his content makes them worth the time, even for someone like me who is a professional in this field. Highly recommend -- it's a bestseller for a reason!
Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2022
I enjoyed reading this, also another good author to read is Lakita T. Sharpe, inspirational author. Check her out too for motivating.
One person found this helpful
From the United States
Reviewed in the United States on April 23, 2020
Simple approach. Easy to implement. If you’re looking for ways to improve your leadership style and provide more impactful value to your people this book will deliver. The Coaching Habit teaches you to ask questions and listen rather than spend unnecessary time and energy giving away all the answers (which ultimately may not even be so helpful). You can effectively manage your time and become a liberating leader while using the seven core questions. Highly recommend this easy read.
Excellent, Thought-Provoking Book
Reviewed in the United States on March 1, 2018
This was an excellent book that got me thinking a lot about my style of coaching. I am not a life or business coach. I am a sport coach . While there is a large amount of time where I absolutely must give advice and not just ask questions (in games, practices, etc.), this book got me thinking a lot about my leadership style as well as my personal relationship style. There are definitely many moments where I should choose not to immediately offer advice to others but rather ask the questions in this book. I am looking forward to implementing them immediately .
This book by far is the best coaching book I have ever had the pleasure to ...
Reviewed in the United States on January 10, 2017
This book by far is the best coaching book I have ever had the pleasure to read. Every word rings true in thinking of coaching conversations with my own team. The concepts will be easy to implement and Mr. Stainer even gives you help with that. And with only 7 amazing questions to add to your coaching conversations, anyone can do it. I highly recommend it.
3 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on August 6, 2021
This book helped me see the areas where my leadership could be far more effective and more impactful in the lives of the people I lead. Michael Bungay Stanier gave me practical tips on how ask the right questions, listen more and help people find their own solutions. If you lead others, you need to read this! Stay Curious!
Reviewed in the United States on December 27, 2019
Currently there are plenty of coaching books advising immediate way how to change your leadership style but what I like about The Coaching Habit is that the approach is rather conceptual and systematic and that’s the only way how it can make difference.
One person found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on September 27, 2016
Loved this book! VERY well written in an engaging and easy-to-read format. The author suggests several brilliant questions you can ask of those you are leading -- and even if you don't remember all the questions that are offered, you'll likely recall one or two that will make a real difference in the way you manage.
2 people found this helpful
Coaching boiled down to its essential and practical core
Reviewed in the United States on May 6, 2016
The Coaching Habit strips away all the unnecessary language and theory that fill many similar works, revealing a wealth of profoundly simple yet powerful communication tools. The skills are quite robust, because they are designed to initiate or revitalize discussions naturally, as opposed to a strict step-by-step method that fails if not followed precisely. Moreover, the simplicity of the techniques and suggested wording makes them nearly impossible to forget. As a coach in Japan, I have already begun to employ these techniques with great success.
2 people found this helpful
I can't recommend this book highly enough
Reviewed in the United States on December 3, 2016
As a consultant who helps organizations both form and execute strategy, I can't recommend this book highly enough. Whether you're determining the competitive advantage that will separate you from your competitors or identifying the right metrics to track that journey, the key to both endeavors is asking the right questions. I have found a place for each of Michael's straightforward yet powerful questions at every stage of my consulting work. Each of them has the ability to provoke a meaningful discussion, but perhaps my favorite is the AWE question, "And What Else?" So often we lock on to one course of action or response to a challenge based on the lens of our unique experiences, culture, etc. By asking "And what else?" we're forced to move beyond that first rung and go deeper, which always leads to more options, and frequently results in powerful insights. Anyone who does any sort of consulting, coaching, or facilitating will benefit greatly from the lessons in this book. Oh, and by the way, it's fun to read!
One person found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on July 8, 2019
This was an enjoyable read with great takeaways that I could immediately apply to my leadership. The material was fresh, well grounded and described with Michael Bungay Stanier's very personable Aussie humor. I recommend it if you're managing or leading.
James Bond at work! At least as an author...
Reviewed in the United States on June 8, 2018
Not only am I doing this bc p104 asks me to, but because I know I suck sometimes as a coach! I want to lead my people better, I usually have a hard time connecting with people, and one of my hats in my role is even called a coach. This book is highly insightful on how to ask good questions and lead your people well. Michael is well read and renders some of the best tips from today's best authors on people management. While not chockful of anecdotal moments, this book is extremely disciplined in helping a coach build better habits to be more sufficient and efficient in that role.
Reviewed in the United States on December 22, 2016
Love absolutely everything about this book! The sharp and direct writing style, the pragmatism backed by solid research and depth of academic knowledge, the easy to leverage but powerful 7 questions. I read a lot of management books each year, and this book is the very best coaching book I have read in years. As an executive coach myself, I am now recommending this book to all my coaching clients so that they can bring the skills of coaching powerfully into their day-to-day managerial interactions. [...]
One person found this helpful
Excellent book with many great ideas and examples
Reviewed in the United States on February 18, 2018
Excellent book with many great ideas and examples. If you’re new to managing people or if you find yourself in some tricky situations with your direct reports that you wish you had handled better, check out this book. I am seeing success when I implement these strategies. Will be recommending this to my colleagues who manage people.
Reviewed in the United States on May 12, 2016
This is a quick but incredibly useful read. Applied some questions immediately to conversations with my employees, and saw very quickly how well these work, and how engaged that enable the other person to be in the discussion. Great find.
3 people found this helpful
Reviewed in the United States on November 14, 2017
As an executive coach I am very skeptical of coaching books in general and those that say that you can coach in "ten minutes" in particular. This book is excellent and totally delivers! Michael Bungy Stanier really has whittled down coaching into the essential key questions and gives you practical tools to use them and make them habits. If you reading this book and try the questions and the tools you will certainly uplevel your coaching skills and even more importantly your mindset. This will spread to the people around you and will transform your culture.
Reviewed in the United States on December 18, 2016
This book popped into my recommendations list, and I decided why not based solely on the reviews. I'm so glad I did! I'm a leadership coach, and always looking for new ways to hone my skills. Though I knew a lot of the techniques Michael mentioned, the insight he provided on each question and the examples he gave were awesome. The Kindle version also comes with links to exercises that further enforce the key messages in each chapter. If you're a manager in an organization READ THIS BOOK! If you're a new coach, looking for a refreshing perspective READ THIS BOOK! Trust me you won't be disappointed.
2 people found this helpful
Terrific book! Michael presents a simple yet really profound ...
Reviewed in the United States on May 17, 2018
Terrific book!
Michael presents a simple yet really profound method of coaching employees and clients. Many times we ask a question, followed quickly by another question, answer the question ourselves, and become uncomfortable or impatient when the answer doesn't come quickly.
And then what? We really don't help the relationship. We may feel good that we "coached" the employee/client and solved the issue; but, in reality nothing changed.
His questions are simple. They are direct. They illicit a necessary response. The responsibility is appropriately put on the client. (Read the book for the actual questions...)
Even if you think you coach well, you will undoubtedly gain insight from Michael's book. It's not about you, it's about the client and employee. And in the process hopefully you'll discover an efficient questioning strategy and become lazy...
Excellent book on how coaching enables better performance
Reviewed in the United States on February 4, 2018
I am a leadership and life coach practicing for about four years. A friend recommended this book and it did not disappoint. Coaching is about changing behaviors to unlock the potential in people. This book is deceptively simple ... but it provides a lot of useful information for new coaches, seasoned coaches or managers who wish to employ coaching to raise the performance of their team. Get it!
Reviewed in the United States on December 16, 2021
This book gave me insights into my areas of growth with regards to listening and the 7 questions are such a helpful guide to conversations! Happy to have read this as I develop my coaching practice.
Want something you can use, now?
Reviewed in the United States on November 30, 2017
This book is brilliantly written. Well organized, full of links and supporting material. Most impressively it is applicable. Meaning makes-one-able-to-apply-it. Usable. Consumable. Can read in one sitting... and then begin applying. It's an inspiration not only for my Coaching practice... but my developing habit of writing. Thank you, Michael! All the Best, Craig
One person found this helpful
The should be the coaches playbook.
Reviewed in the United States on February 20, 2020
What a great new approach to coaching associates. Have use the techniques with great success on my own staff. The process help the associate open up and helps them identify the actual issue that needs to be addressed. Great book for managers of all levels. Have actually gifted it to my new team.